Trying to Forget the Crushing Defeats since 2009

I think I’ve developed a sleep problem.

I think too much before bed, and the thinking isn’t even good. While 13-year-old boys dream of boobies (or high heels) all I can seem to think about lately is politics.

But one night, while lying in bed trying to compare the “Tea Partiers” to the cast of MTV’s “Jersey Shore”, I figured something out. By now you should know the drill: it’s about to get wonky in here.

Business: it’s a large and complicated world, but it wasn’t always this way–in fact, when I want to think about business, I usually think about an old, western small town (think Did You Hear About the Morgans?).

The town has a general store, a bank, a doctor’s office, and a gas station, all businesses owned by middle-class men your family has known forever. Despite the fact that there isn’t any competition on most items, you can trust that the men setting the prices are keeping them low.

The bank is very simple: the money that you give the teller goes into a vault. As the banker tells you, your money doesn’t stay in the vault long: it’s lent to other people, but because the bank collects interest on loans, some of that profit goes to you as a thank you for letting the bank manage your money. If the bank gets held up (this is the Wild Wild West, remember?), your bank is insured and your money is safe.

The doctor’s office is next to the insurance office, and the two work closely. When you have insurance you pay the insurer money–more or less based on what the insurer thinks he may have to pay on your behalf one day. If you’re sick, money from that insurance plan goes to pay your bills. The insurer and the doctor work together to make sure that the doctor makes enough money off of procedures, but not so much that the insurer goes bust.

If another gas station opens up across town, the two stations will compete: they’ll independently work to attract and keep customers by keeping prices low. If another general store opens up, the same thing will happen.

What you’re picturing at this point is beautiful–it’s 1950’s America without the civil rights problem. There’s just one problem: it’s a HUGE anachronism.

Today the issue with banking and healthcare reform is that free-market conservatives seem to think that the big business is perpetually stuck in the 1950’s, and the liberals intent on reforming these processes (because they’re not so simple anymore) are trying to curb profit in a capitalist society, whether intentionally or not.

So how do we solve it? Well, first we stop partying like it’s 1949.

What conservatives hell-bent on making sure that “the government isn’t running the banks” and that “there’s no-one getting between you and your doctor” are missing is that these sectors aren’t that simple any more. Conglomerates have replaced our simple banks–the same bank that holds your life savings also controls your retirement, your stock portfolio, and the APR on your credit card. Banks don’t make money anymore just on loans, either: our system collapsed in 2008 at the hand of Credit Default Swaps, which has been unmasked as a commodity that doesn’t really exist.

It’s not much better in Healthcare: my doctor spends about a third of his revenue paying someone to deal with insurance companies. My doctor’s no longer mixing tonics in the backroom, either: he’s dealing with generic drugs, clinical trials, and lots of other numbers when deciding what to write on his prescription pad.

What both sides of the issue (especially Liberals) must also realize is that healthcare, while once something that was pretty simply bought and sold, is no longer a commodity. When a second gas station moves into our mythical town, prices will go down because there’s increased competition, but thanks to an intricate system of purchasing healthcare, an appendectomy isn’t the same as gasoline. It’s for this reason that I believe the Democratic Party’s Public Option may not be the best idea…but neither is the Republican idea to allow people to negotiate for insurance plans across state lines.

Ultimately, the greatest reforms to come out of Washington will be the ones that do just that: reform. We can no longer think of our businesses like we did in the 50’s—banks as vaults and insurance companies as sugar daddies—but must also combat the problems of the 10’s: banks bent on trading items that don’t exist and healthcare companies that pursue profit over actual health.

And for God’s sake, stop clamoring for America to be “like it used to be.”